I first started thinking about homeschool after my oldest son was in 4th grade and was relentlessly bullied in class and on the bus. But I didn’t believe in myself enough to do it. I didn’t think I was capable and I was unsure what homeschool could look like for us because I didn’t know anyone else in my circle who did it. It took a few more years, during the pandemic and virtual school (which was more like no school at all), to finally realize that I could figure it out. I owed it to my kids to figure it out.
I’m a big fan of YouTube University and so I spent most of September 2020 researching everything I could about homeschool and watching countless videos into the wee hours of the night. What I found, to my delight, is that as long as you’re meeting your state’s requirements, there’s no one way to do homeschool. You are free to cater to your children’s needs in terms of the curriculum you use, subjects they excel in or don’t, subjects they’re interested in or not. The freedom of homeschool has also opened my eyes to how public school education has changed so vastly from when I was a kid.
I’m someone who loves learning and homeschooling my boys is a chance for me to learn again right alongside my kids. When I was little, I wanted to be a teacher and I’d line up my stuffed animals and Barbies and make them do “homework” and take spelling tests. When I got older, I actually ended up in the HR field instead, but little did I know that I’d end up teaching (sort of) after all. But I didn’t choose homeschool for me. I did it for my boys.
Dom, my oldest, became very disenfranchised by school and his teacher in 4th grade. The bullying played a big part in it, but mostly it was a teacher who, frankly, didn’t do a good job of teaching. Dom struggled a bit with math and instead of encouraging him and offering him help and making sure he understood, his teacher instead berated him that if he couldn’t learn this “simple” math, he’d have a really hard time going forward. Who says that to a kid? If you tell him it’s a lost cause and his future in math is bleak, of course he’s going to give up and lose confidence in himself. After 4th grade, his attitude toward school changed completely and he wasn’t the same happy-go-lucky kid anymore. He doubted himself constantly and it broke my heart.
William is a really gifted kid and he would get very bored at school. Even being enrolled in extra enrichment classes, he’d still finish his work before everyone else and have nothing to do. We thought about moving him up a grade, but though he was gifted intellectually, we weren’t sure he was ready for it yet emotionally and socially. So we were stuck, with his teachers constantly complaining to me that they had no more extra work to give him and he was bored, as if there was something I could do about it.
So, in October 2020, I removed them from public school and started homeschooling. They were in 7th and 4th grade and I immediately felt this huge weight to do everything right and check all the boxes, especially because I knew high school wasn’t far away for Dom. The homeschool community always warns newbies to not try to recreate public school at home and bog down your children with 8 hours of schoolwork, but of course that’s what I did at first. Let’s just say the first month wasn’t quite the blissful learning environment I envisioned. But I eventually calmed down and stopped trying to do too much and realized that, to my advantage over public school, I only have 2 students. I can dive deep and give extra help when they need it and move on to the next thing when they don’t. We don’t have to move at anyone’s pace but our own.
It’s now December 2023 and homeschool is like second nature to us. We go on field trips when we can, and we take rabbit holes into whatever interests us. Right now, we’re finishing up a unit study on life skills, something that I don’t think public school does a very good job of teaching. And next week, we’ll start a unit study on Australia and New Zealand because… why not? Dom’s in 10th grade now and William is in 7th grade and we get to focus on school in a more in-depth way and I love it.
Being home with my kids and homeschooling them has truly been a rewarding experience. I wish I could have started doing it from the beginning when they were little. I think back on every lackluster parent-teacher conference and every same old pilgrims and Indians unit (seriously, how many times does that have to be repeated each year?) and worrying about standardized tests for my children who are anything but standard and every scary school shooting on the news, and I breathe a sigh of relief that we have the freedom to homeschool. The RV lifestyle works well with homeschooling too because most other families are doing the same and we all get it.
I know that my story isn’t the same as anyone else’s, and it’s also not a knock on anyone who chooses public school for their kids. Every family has to do what’s right for them in terms of time, money, and energy. Plus, not all school districts and teachers are the same. But if you’ve ever been curious about homeschooling your children and you needed a nudge to get started, here it is. I have kids who don’t grumble about school anymore (OK, they don’t grumble 98% of the time at least) and who are really, truly learning. And I don’t have to send them off for 8+ hours a day and wonder what’s happening in their lives. I’m right here beside them, showering them with my love and nurturing and the best of intentions for them.
Homeschooling has become such a joy in my life as a mother. But it also brings grief in the fact that I don’t have that many more years to do it. I used to hate when people would say that time flies when you’re a parent and to cherish every moment. But it’s true. I have two young men now and my heart isn’t ready yet for what the future will bring. But I know they will be ready and that’s what matters.
Loved this. I've been in awe watching you navigate this new world the last few years. You're doing amazing. The boys are so lucky.
Ps... Gimme that teacher's name. I'd like to have a word with her.